You want one too, you just don't know it.
It was easier for the Turks to destroy Constantinople than it was for them to beat the Impaler. Constant war, constant betrayal and intrigue, and the first instance in the history of any military anywhere of gunpowder being used in a "lethal and artistic" way. Fighting on all sides. The invading Turks, led by Mehmed II himself--the Conqueror of Constantinople, even more vicious and experienced, commanding a force that he mandated to be even greater than that with which he destroyed that legendary city. In addition, Tepes is dealing with shifting loyalties and constant betrayal, bringing law and commerce to a land which had been without either for generations, bringing order to the streets and food to it's people. It is said that during Tepes' rule over Wallaschia, one could leave a bag full of gold or an untethered wagon full of goods in the streets for days and they woukd not be stolen, so fearful were the people of being brought to face their prince's justice. Tepes fought for the common man against the privileged, be they foreign merchants or the boyars and entrenched aristocrats of his native land, preferring to advance meritous and loyal men of common birth over trusting the boyars. Vlad Tepes was a man who fought in wars against all of the greatest kingdoms of the southeast of Europe in his age and he lived to tell the tale. The Turkish soldiery had at some point become convinced that he was, in fact, immortal; a legend that only grew as he proceeded to skullfuck armies much larger than his own through brilliant and innovative tactics, leading his untrained rabble of old men and young boys, women armed with knives and children scarcely able to draw bow, against the best-trained and best-equipped army the world had ever seen. There have been many battles fought at night in the history of the world, and presumably many of them occured because one party had attacked the other--but there is only one battle that is commonly known as "The Night Attack." THE. Think about it. It could be epic.
But pretty much only if they never, ever, ever so much as IMPLY that vampire bullshit. I like me some vampires, but Prince Dracula should never ever be conflagrated with them. No scenes where Vlad drinks so much as a trickle of blood, no identifying with bats or creatures of the night, no accent of any form--especially not a British one, we should seriously stop having foreigners speak with English accents when they aren't supposed to be English.
Unfortunately, this movie will never be made, or at least not the way it ought to be made. Because Hollywood feels the need to have all historic romance flicks have a "message" of some sort about how we should all be nice and not go to war and in 500 years nobody will care about our battles either it's supposed to look pointless and inglorious and vain and blah blah blah. As a reference, see every medieval movie made in the past 20 years that hasn't come from other, better original writers. That's why movies that supposedly involve elements of Norse myth end up butchering the Norse myths in translation, since Norse myth was very much all about glory and the glorification of death and battle; there is no way that I trust Neil Gaiman, the guy who had Loki get outwitted by fucking Shakespeare's Puck, to do Beowulf the way it should be done. This is one of the few cases where I can honestly say, I think Frank Miller could do this movie the way it should be done. All about the honor and sacrifice for the nobility of the nation and the nation's spirit, against both hostility without and corruption within. Frank Miller could do it right, and he's the only guy with the star-power etc. to convince the Jew financiers to part with their Jew gold to get such a movie made. Of course, Frank Miller would be absolute shit at doing Beowulf, since that's all about honor and glory and sacrifice for their own sakes rather than because of cultural/social duty.
And, of course, out of all the endings to the Impaler's story that there are, we'd pretty much have to go with the "glorious last stand" version instead of the "beheaded by a treacherous boyar who wanted to get in good with the Turks" version.
But hey, even the worst possible Vlad III movie would still be better than yet another director's "unique vision" of the Arthurian legend--which is exactly why Hollywood is letting another worthless asshole make yet another multimillion dollar King Arthur movie.
Fuck Arthur, I want to see 23,000 elite soldiers impaled by a leader just to make his diplomatic position clear to the sultan.
--John